Mom remains in the hospital

Went to see mom . What a difference a day makes has never been more true, she is again happily demented. smiling and making jokes. Her physician is trying to find the correct medication to help her sleep. I am told once she sleeps through the night she can come home, and her doctor is being so cautious of the increases. I am glad now that I took her. I have also realized how much she is apart of this household and it is way to quiet with her gone. Ready for round 6 so to speak.

Well I thought mom was rebounding from the flu she had. She was moping around the house acting as if being touched caused pain. Crying, refusing to eat or take her meds. Then moms caregiver became increasingly worried. My sister who spoke with her on the phone was worried. So I took her to the hospital to be checked for a possible infection. We were a sight. Me sick mom angry telling everyone she wanted to die. I think they tested her for everything. Healthy as a horse. Just ready to die. I had her admitted to the psychiatric ward for evaluation knowing they could get her to eat and take her meds. It has been 3 days. She has a wonderful psychiatrist who was the one to diagnose her 21/2 yrs ago. He informed me mom doesn't sleep at night (well that was a surprise). So she is to stay till they can find the correct dosage of medication to help her sleep. Maybe 2 more nights.

my turn

I caught the Flu. I have not been sick like this in years. guess it was my turn.

moms ill

Mom has been sick for 2 days. I sit with her at night again. Talking till she falls asleep. It is strange to discuss our family as though I'm not a part of it. Though I have to say, treating mom as a client has dramatically decreased my expectations of her. The stress level in the house has decreased. I still forget at times call her mom and get that funny look from her. This to I know will become easier as time goes on. To my brother and sisters that read this blog. She always states her love for one and all. Her memories of our growing up are all good. Even though we all know better.

thank you

To Carole; thank you for your support. Your responses are always kind. It is nice to be able to reread them when needed. Martha

Lesson learned

Sorry I havent been on...This lesson took a while. My mom is not my mom anymore. She is Carol. She is praised for all she can do. Reaasured when she is worried. But, I no longer call her mom. It seems to confuse her. Her son is the grumpy man next door. My mom is now my patient.

doctors

Today we went to an eye specialist per moms doctors request. Moms eyes are fine minimal cataracts which is to be expected at her age. I took along my information on the loss of visuospatial skill. She was on her best behavior through the whole process (3 hours long). Now mom can go back to her regular optomitrist. I think what bothers me is that her primary doctor did not have the same information I did on mom. I can't say it enough if you are a primary care giver get and read all medical records. All hospitalization records. We have one goal to keep our loved ones as healthy as possible. I can add another hat as a patient advocate.

sorry computer was down

Never thought I would rely on this blog like I do till I cant write down daily events. I want to thank everyone for thier kind wishes and continued viewing of my journal.

depression

One week to Christmas; mom has become increasingly depressed. It still surprises me that her very lucid thought is that my father was supposed to wait for her. Her mood swings are unpredictable. Once she starts ranting their is no way to calm her down. We have to let her work through it, then she is fine. Anger gone and pleasant. Seems that she is more confused and angry when it starts getting dark. A friend was talking about a sunlamp to maybe help with this problem. She said it had to do with the bodies need for melatonin. I'm going to ask her doctor what he thinks. I will try just about anything once. Still haven't come with a solution to the bathroom issue.

staying dressed

I wish I could understand the aversion people with ALZ have with clothes. It has been a unique couple of days with mom. I cant seem to keep her dressed while at home. I thought it was because she was not sleeping that her confusion was getting worse, I now think it is just a part of her dementia. We have doctors apts. today. I will ask the experts and see if they have answers. Let you know what I find out. Still haven't figured out the bathroom issue yet. Ideas appreciated.

Yesterday

Yesterday was a day I do not want to relive. Mom woke up angry and very paranoid. She kept saying " I don't know what is going on but, I don't like it". My very calm sister tried to help via the phone without luck. Her care giver was also a target of her paranoia. She was bound and determined to go outside and freeze. We were able to keep her in and get her redirected with a movie. took a while but, we got her to eat take her meds and things mellowed. I don't know what brought on the paranoia still trying to figure that out maybe a dream she had. But, this morning she is fine and in a great mood.

Changes

I have noticed mom needs a lot more direction when doing about anything. I thought she was just being difficult due to depression, but I was told yesterday that at daycare it is the same thing. Even with her eating they need to cut up her food or give her one thing at a time. It amazes me how moms mental state has changed since she broke her hip. trying to keep her healthy and safe has become a top priority.

Moms anger

Mom spent most of the weekend mad. Which was okay. I know anger raises the blood pressure and gets the heart pumping. It also makes her stop finding reasons she can't do something and just does it.
I have found that you cannot fight with someone with ALZ.. You cannot be logical with an illogical person. The only way to win is to never get pulled into an argument. If you do you lose.

Another Day

Today mom is mad since I wont hang her clothes up for her. Silly things seem to really get to her. But, in my defense if I hang them up now (which she can do), I'll have to hang them up again tonight. I continue to push her to do all she can and she keeps pushing back with "I can't do anything". Stay tuned to see who wins.

Reality stinks

Well it has been a couple of long days. I have to accept that mom no longer has control of her bowels or bladder functions. I gave up padded underwear for depends. I still have not figured out how to keep her from coming across the house to use the bathroom which is right next to her bedroom. I have a few ideas but, have not tried them yet. I'll let you know how they work. We have been up the last few nights. Not talking about memories, her wanting to be put to sleep because she feels worthless. I try to understand the feeling and can to some point. I am not losing my memories or abilities but, I have lost my independence and the feeling of worth by working as a nurse. The comparison is not the best but it does help me. Today she is at day care I hope it helps to lift her spirits. Then carries through the night so we can both sleep.

Cleaning

Cleaning with mom is like cleaning with a 3 year old. She tries so hard to help. But, seems to undo what I have done. I have learned to let her clean bedrooms before I do. Then I go in and clean. Though she is not to clean closets. This is because as I have said, mom takes everything off the hangers and lays them on the floor of the closet. One room I don't have to worry about is the bathroom, mom really hates the bathroom. Hardly ever goes in.

Happy Thanksgiving

Today has been really good for mom. I think it is all the activity going on around her.She is upbeat and relaxed. All the family called, mom enjoyed talking to each and everyone. This is the first Thanksgiving with severe dementia and I wasn't sure how it would go. I am pleasantly surprised. Hope every ones day went as well.

The money saga continues

Mom was obsessing about money again. The fake money did'nt work to long, as you can tell. Thank god I have a sister to call to back me up. ( I am lucky that way). For support you should have someone to back you up. For my mom it is one of my brother-in-laws. She really does better with men in authority. They know what is going on in our home and know to generalize an answer to soothe my mom. Support for the care giver is so important. I did'nt really understand the full extent of what I was getting into. That is a fact. But, I don'nt feel that I am alone. We are a family taking care of our Brother and our Mother. Only, I get to be on the front line for now,Knowing that I always have back up if it is needed.

Thanks Giving

There are some people in my life who really make a difference. They mean so much that I wonder how I could ever get along without them. When I look back, I can see the void that they fill in my heart. That's the way I feel about my family. You go out of your way for me, to make me feel special. In case you don't know, you are so important to me. I am grateful to have you in my life.

Changes

Mom has been wandering a lot more than usual. She has lost most of her bladder control. So cleaning the carpets is daily. I don't think this will change. She is becoming more confused when trying to converse with others. I have found their can not be any distractions when trying to talk to her or her mind wanders. She no longer reads or writes. She can not sign her name anymore. She looks the same so it is hard to try and adjust to what is going on in her mind. She is being robbed of her life past and present. But, she still has that kind spirit that makes her my mom.